SEX MASTERCLASS: AM I GOOD AT SEX?
If you're struggling to get out of your head and get in the mood, you might be asking yourself, "Am I really good at sex?" In fact, I personally feel like we've all had that moment of insecurity and panic when thinking about our sexual prowess, even those who seem confident in their sensual abilities.
Asking if you're good at sex is as good as telling a bad joke. If you have to ask (or explain the joke), it probably won't be very good. But there are ways to tell if your partner is having a good time without making it awkward, which you'll discover below. But first, let's delve into the most important part of self-esteem in the bedroom.
The key to confidence: You can't plan exactly what you want to happen. While we love to share tips, you can't plan exactly what will happen throughout the entire wild ride. It's hard to do, but you have to go with the flow and let whatever happens next happen naturally.
There's no solid answer to getting the best possible experience in the bedroom, but we have answers that can get you closer. Here's a masterclass in three sexy secrets that can give you the grace of a sex goddess in the bedroom.
Communication
The secret to all good relationships is that talking to your partner is a great way to know exactly what they want. And I mean... exactly. Ask them directly what they like in bed! Tell them what you like in bed. If you want to experiment with different positions , show them what you have in mind and make sure they're comfortable with it. When you try something new, get consent and make sure you both know what it will entail.
Be direct. Don't jump in and be coy about what you want. The best way to experience pleasure is to tell them what pleases you. If you don't know, tell them. Communication doesn't stop once you're enjoying sex. If you like what they're doing, tell them to keep going. Let them know if they're going too fast or too hard—tell them it's too much. If you let them fly blindly all the way there, they might crash and burn.
foreplay
Sex doesn't start in the bedroom, especially for women. Let's face it, most women don't orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Setting the mood is the most important solution to getting in the right mood. Take a luxurious bath with your favorite scent. Put on some lingerie that makes you feel sexy and confident. Dim the lights and light a candle to signal it's time to slow down... and get off.
Once you and your partner get down to business, don't just get down and dirty. Tease each other, take off your clothes, whisper what you want to do, or go further and give a sensual massage . Pay attention to how your partner reacts to your touch and make adjustments based on their response.
nonverbal
Verbal communication is extremely important during sex, but also pay attention to what they're saying without words. Are they moaning? Are their toes curled? Are they staring at the TV you forgot to turn off? These are all signs that let you know whether to continue or just move on.
The most important nonverbal cues are paying attention to your partner. Focus on them and their pleasure. You'll gain their confidence if you go out of your way to give them the best experience. Plus, it's exciting to see your partner get hot and heavy. Keep the good vibes coming!
Getting out of your head and into bed can be a challenge for most people. But keep the tips above in mind for an out-of-this-world experience. Still struggling to keep your insecure thoughts from popping up? Practice mindfulness exercises, such as affirmations , to give yourself some self-love.