Let's get horny!
It's been over a decade since the erotic novel "Fifty Shades of Grey" awakened the inner Anastasia Steele in women around the world. The dark world of kink (spanking, bondage, strangulation, domination, etc.) was born in popular culture. In fact, a study The Journal of Sexual Medicine states that nearly 50% of the general population has tried some form of BDSM. In fact, we're so into this topic that we have a blog about the basics. But if you want to learn how to introduce kink into the bedroom, we've got you covered.
We spoke with the Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University. Dr. Debby Herbenick about whether kinky games are becoming more popular. His response: "Of course they are!"
Why? It's not just because of a book.
"We've been doing quite a bit of research over the last four or five years, and some of this is related to much greater access to sexually explicit material through smartphones," says Dr. Herbenick.
If you're new to kink, Dr. Herbenick has some helpful tips.
Tips for beginners
Communication is the key
Consent is always essential in sex. When exploring new boundaries, it's important to make sure you and your partner(s) are on the same page.
Dr. Herbenick says, "I think the really important thing as kinky behaviors become more common is for people to step up their communication. Kink exploration can go very well, but we also see a lot of problem areas when people don't talk really clearly about what they like beforehand."
When starting a conversation about introducing fantasies into the bedroom, it's okay to feel vulnerable. Be specific about what you'd like. Give examples, because when they hear you say the word "kink," they might picture a dungeon with ball gags and chains (which is fine, if that's your style). Be prepared to answer questions and have a longer conversation about expectations. Also, talk about how far you'd like to go.
For example, if someone wants to be spanked, it's important not only to talk about spanking and say "I like it" or "I want to try it," but also to share information about the intensity. It's advisable to start gently with any kinky or impact play they're interested in," adds Dr. Herbenick.
Use a safe word and gesture
You may already know that you should have a safe word with your partner. This allows your partner to give more consent or withdraw it at any point during the game. They're a great way to establish a safe environment so everyone can have fun.
Once you've got your safe word down, consider adding a safety gesture in case your mouth is full.
"Make sure people have safe words or, also, safe gestures for anything they can't talk about or use their safe word about," says Dr. Herbenick. "Really clear communication can make sexual exploration, including kink exploration, much better."
Use the products
If you like bondage and role-playing, you will need A few things to start with. For example, handcuffs, a whip, or a sex swing. Think about what you want, and you'll be able to find the product that enhances the experience.
According to Dr. Herbenick, kink is about power, and products can help you explore dominance or submission. She gives good examples, such as "comfortable handcuffs that are easy to remove. You can use things that are good for spanking. But feathers are great too. Any type of vibrator or sex toy can be used."
Get horny wherever you want
Don't let the bedroom limit you. With today's technology, you can get horny anywhere. In fact, remote-controlled vibrators They're a great way to increase the suspense and power play with your partner. Have your partner carry the vibrator, control it from another room, and watch the fireworks go off.
"There's a lot of great erotica where people use a variety of toys. You can do this with many different products you have on hand or still need to add to your toolbox," says Dr. Herbenick.
Popular types of perversion
There are many types of kinks, and just because we've listed five below doesn't mean they're the only ones you should try. Explore and have fun with the type of kink that satisfies your sexual instinct.
BDSM
He BDSM (or bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism) experienced a huge surge in popularity after "Fifty Shades of Grey." The best part is that you can take it from mild to wild, as it covers a lot of ground. The most common ways to engage in BDSM are tying up a partner, taking on dominant/submissive roles, or impact play (spanking/hitting).
Anal play
You might be thinking, "Anal play probably isn't that common." Well, it definitely is. According to a study Recently, 36% of women and 44% of men aged 25-44 have had anal sex. It doesn't necessarily mean intercourse either. You can use toys and other objects. Just make sure to use a silicone-based lubricant to reduce friction.
Role-playing games
Who doesn't love escaping reality and pretending to be someone else? Role-playing games are a great way for couples to play roles outside of their everyday lives. It can be anything from switching roles to acting out your favorite characters.
Edges
This practice is quite simple. The name says it all. You push yourself away from the edge of climax, delaying orgasm. Some say that when you finally reach orgasm, it's more intense.
Group sex
Apparently, this is the most common fantasy among Americans. Dr. Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute asked more than 4,000 Americans about their greatest sexual fantasy, and more than a third responded that their number one dream is sex with multiple partners. 89% of respondents have thought about group sex at some point.
Why? According to Lehmiller, "It's normal to get bored with sexual routines, and it's easy to fall into a rut when you're with just one partner for a long period of time. Group sex offers the opportunity to spice things up."
Use this blog to talk with your partner about how to add kink to the bedroom and spice up your vanilla sex life.